Defiance, opposition and other challenges from your kid.
Disruptive behaviour – arguing, defiance, explosive outbursts and even aggression – challenge even the most compassionate and patient parents. All too often, parents suffer the label “poor parenting” as the assumed reason for their child’s behaviour. This label can be applied by neighbours, family, teachers… or by parents themselves, feeling guilt and shame at their “failure.”
They Don’t Teach This In School
Numerous factors contribute to disruptive behaviour displayed by children and teens. Traditional parenting methods work well for many kids; but not all. They can even be counter-productive for some children and teens.
Here are some links to more effective ways of working with the disruptive behaviour of your child or teen.
The Collaborative Proactive Solutions (CPS) Model of Dr. Ross Greene:
To quote the website, “Hope, compassion, support, and help for behaviourally challenging kids and their caregivers.” From the author of the best-selling book, “The Explosive Child.” Quite possibly the best resource for understanding your child’s behaviour, and how to help.
James Keim, MSW:
Great information on Oppositional Defiant Disorder, from a therapist with vast experience, insight, and compassion for both oppositional kids, and their parents.
A Podcast Interview with Dr. Keith Sutton:
Dr. Sutton provides an in-depth explanation of oppositional and defiant behaviour in kids. Listen if you would like to get a better understanding of both the behaviour, and what helps.
Dr. Jeff Bernstein:
Dr. Bernstein’s website offers articles and videos with helpful advice on parenting defiant children and youth. A number of parents have spoken highly to me of his book, “10 Days to a Less Defiant Child.”
Ben Furman’s “Criticism Simulator:”
Ben is a Finnish psychiatrist, who – among other things – has created some helpful apps for tablets and smartphones. Click on the title to use his “Criticism Simulator” online, or install it on your phone. It will not necessarily fix everything between you and your child; but it does a great job of re-wording criticism into statements which are more likely to be received and responded to positively. (And it might be fun for kids and parents to take turns using it on each other.)
Click here to see all of Ben’s apps.
Or…