calm and relaxed state

Tolerating Calm

“Tolerating calm.”  Say what, now? I’ll admit, when I first heard this phrase – tolerating calm – it sounded odd; almost an oxymoron.  What’s to tolerate?  It’s… calm. Calm itself can be quite pleasant.  The young folk might use the word “chill” (or at least they did at some point; I can’t keep up with…

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worry leads to suffering

Worry Leads to Suffering

As I have mentioned before, I am a nerd. My love of Star Wars inspires the title of this article. Yoda said, “Hate leads to suffering.” Following Yoda’s lead, I’ll go with, “Worry leads to suffering.” While I don’t keep stats, I’m fairly confident the #1 thing which brings people to my office is anxiety.…

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It's just in your head.

It’s Just In Your Head

Last week I wrote about thoughts, feelings and sensations which can be inaccurate, irrational, or plain old wrong; and cause us problems. Here’s the thing. While misleading; they are not trivial.  Trivial stressful thoughts and feelings do happen, of course, and we shrug them off and go about our day.  It’s the un-shruggable ones that…

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cognitive distortions and miscues

Lies and Deceptions

I think it’s about time that I shift from writing about counselling and psychotherapy — which I’ve been yammering about for weeks now — and start talking about the stuff that bugs people enough to want to try it.  One common denominator for problems which drive people into therapy involves lies and deceptions. Many problems…

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